Midnight Thoughts

“I sat there and watched”

As I was dusting the granola bar crumbs from my bed, I hit the water bottle on the side of the bed and it shook like it was going to go down and I sat there and watched it even though I really didn’t want it to go down. I sat there and watched.

“something in me stops me from acting…”


What I got from this was I do that to people; I
mistakenly shake’em away and you know, as they’re deciding whether or not to stay I do nothing, even though I really really want them to stay. I do nothing because something in me stops me from acting and I just watch.

“[the memories] run past my mind everyday like clockwork…”



Quite a number of you I wish I had held on to, and acted. But now all I have is the memories of our times, they run past my mind everyday like clockwork. I see, smell, hear, feel something and I remember one or two of you and the fun we had and I still don’t cry or feel awfully sad, I move on.

“I’ve got to be new”



Because somehow my life has been conditioned this way. I miss you terribly much but I can’t say because it goes against everything I’m trying to be..and please don’t ask me what I’m trying to be because I dont know but it’s definitely not what I’ve been in the past. I’m going to begin anew even if it means complete desensitization.
I’ve got to be new.


Advertisements

One thought on “Midnight Thoughts

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s